Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
