He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
