Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
organizing the empties. That sober.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
