"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
