He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
