I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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