Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
