just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
