I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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