I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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