what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
