States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
