i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
