Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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