Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
