I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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