just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
