How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I am spending my child support on dildos
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
