Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
