He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
