i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
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