there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
