your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I think I am morally bankrupt
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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