ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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