But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Randomize