New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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