She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
