Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
