I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
