Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
i think my cat just said my name.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
