i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
