I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
