she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Houston, we have a blender
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
