I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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