thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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