Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
