Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize