she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
