There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
