I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I puked a lego.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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