pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
