So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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