Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
