your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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