We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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