I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
