I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
