Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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