Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
