I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
