i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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