omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
