In America we eat man semen.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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