What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
