love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
