I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
