Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
