apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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